About Me

My photo
WELCOME to my little arty world! Trying to make art is a huge part of my life ... love nothing more than messing around with inks and sprays and generally making a mess!

Thursday, 28 November 2013

Needing more TTIME!!!!!

But then I guess all us crafters are at this time of year ... my To Do list is simply unachievable and the more I chip away at it the more I seem to think "Oh I want to do some of these" and add them to the list.  I really do have to start talking myself out of things now and concentrate on the original To Do list and not the revised one ones.

My life has taken an unexpected turn when I found the overwhelming grief of losing my mommy starting to lift back around July time.  I suddenly felt quite, quite different and knew I had turned the corner in getting to grips with her loss (only taken 7 years mind you!).  

This meant I felt able to start going out again and began to make little trips ... still not able to go into shops or other such places but had plans for my holiday at the end of September.  Two days before my holiday I was FINALLY able to track down some shoes I was able to walk in ... just a little blue canvas pump ... but oh, they have opened up a whole new world to me!

In the past five years I have walked no further from the front door to the car and back again, and only maybe every six to seven weeks but now there is no stopping me!  Those little blue shoes have taken me down 180 steps to the waterfall at Foyers (and back up them again!) ... strolls along Loch Ness shoreline and round and round and round a wooded lake local to me ... well, only round once each time but I'm getting there and fully plan on making my walks longer and longer as time goes by.

I now have FIVE pairs of those blue pumps as I am quite aware of their unsuitability for walking BUT I don't care one little bit ... nothing is going to stop me now and I am getting very good at tip-toeing through the mud and then scraping it all off those pumps when I get home again.  

However, whilst I am fully prepared to walk with wet feet, and with cold feet and even with wet and cold feet I am not looking forward to walking with frozen feet and began to get in a right old tizz.  I ADORE the *S*N*O*W* and can't wait for my first trip around "my" lake in the heavy frost or *S*N*O*W* but know those pumps won't do it ... I have horrendous feet and have always struggled to find suitable footwear and doubted I would find anything to fit.  After a sleepless night on Friday I woke hubby the next morning ... "OK ... take me to Go Outdoors please" ... and off we went.

I might as well have been going to the dentist ... shaking like a leaf and very weepy but off we went.  Faced with hundreds and hundreds of boots and shoes I figured we would be there a very long time so when hubby's back was turned I headed straight for three members of staff  "are you all shoe people?" I asked and when they said they were I added "OK, which of you wants a challenge?"  A young girl voluteered and ... well, to cut a long story short LOOK .....

I now have walking boots!!!!!!!!

Have only worn them around the house this week but they will be road-tested on Sunday (only because hubby is out all day Saturday!) and then there really will be no stopping me.  And with hubby due to have retired by Christmas they will be getting a LOT of use!

So ... I am WAY behind with my Christmas crafting due to GOING OUT ... now do the supermarket (with hubby ... still not quite ready to resume driving!) and really do think I have reached a new place.  It's hard "letting go" and the guilt at finding grief has lifted has been hard to cope with but I simply can't go back to where I have been and I know mommy will understand.  I hope in my heart she understands.

HUGE APOLOGIES if you are reading this waiting for photo's of crafty stuff to appear ... this has all been such a pivotal part of my life I wanted it recorded here so I can one day look back and remember when it all fell back into place.

Now ... back to the Christmas crafting I guess. 


  1. Well Debbie. I have just read your story with tears in my eyes, you seem to have overcome so much and it shows how strong you are for fighting back. Don't ever look backward now ,only go forward and a new life will appear. I stay in Scotland and know exactly the area those boot will have trod. I love your blog and my word, those gold poinsettias are so stunning. Many Thanks for the lovely comments you left on my blog. Have a Good Day. Hugs Rita xxxx

  2. I just read this Debbie and also had tears in my eyes. What a journey you had over seven years. You should feel no guilt at finally coming out of such deep grief and facing the World again with a lighter heart. Wojuld you want anyone to grieve so much over you chick? I think your answer is exactly what your Mommy would say too. Big hugs, Di xx