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WELCOME to my little arty world! Trying to make art is a huge part of my life ... love nothing more than messing around with inks and sprays and generally making a mess!

Wednesday, 9 June 2021

WOYWW 627 - This one is for Shaz

 Firstly HUGE apologies for not making it to any of your wonderful desks last week - have not been feeling great lately and got myself into such a tizz that I just had to back off trying to do all I wanted to and then I slept for the best part of four days

In these continuing very uncertain times sometimes things seem just a bit too much & I have found I can trip merrily along but then, wham, my feet disappear from under me and the ZZzzzz's are the best option

Anyway, to this week's leap (or crawl) around fellow deskers, all courtesy of our wonderful Julia at The Stamping Ground

Whilst working on a piece for Doug, with Shaz very much in my thoughts I began to wonder if any of her WOYWW friends might like a litle keepsake too

So I made some smaller ones (feeling the two wolves were really only appropirate for Doug) & I will happily send one to anyone who would like one

I will make as many (or as few!) as are needed so nobody will miss out - just email me your address or FB message me & I will get one in the post to you

They are only small - 10 x 10cm (3 1/2 x 3 1/2") or the size of a coaster

The colours were hopefully to represent Shaz - the Silverwolf speaks for itself and the black and burgundy could only be our Shaz - then there is a touch of green for her much loved peacock feather

They are all everso slightly sparkly now as this one looked a bit flat to me - wasn't sure if Shaz approved of glitter or not but figured she would forgive me if the sparkles were black


The piece for Doug was on a wooden panel - can't recall the size - not that it matters, of course

I had a very firm impression in my mind of what the two wolves would represent and I will admit to much hesitation before making it but hoped Doug knows me well enough to know it would only have been made out of love - and then having the odd weep as it progressed

Once finished it was either deliver it NOW or hide it away so my own darling hubby was despatched the short journey to "just push it through the door" - I didn't want a grand handing over gesture

Of course, it wouldn't fit through the door!!!!!! So Phil was caught loitering outside Doug's door by his two brothers and the dilemma of where to leave it was solved

I did put a small note in with the panel but said nothing of what I thought it might represent because I simply did not want to upset Doug  - I decided to leave it to his own interpretation

Later that night a message pinged and my heart leapt into my mouth when I saw it was from Doug and he began telling me what he saw in my piece - it was as if we were reading the same script and he totally got it

More tears and another box of tissues (thank goodness I have, er, a few boxes in stock ... not that I have hoarded them, you understand)

The colours are rubbish in the full frontal version - the one below is much more accurate


If I don't ever make another piece again then this one was why I began my little sticking-metal-to-planks-of-wood journey in the first place - not because I was pleased with the composition or the colouring - but simply down to Doug's such very kind words
It sucks 
Considering it is something we all have to face at some point we are so very ill-equipped to deal with it
From the gut-wrenching, heart-breaking grief of losing family to the unbearable grief of losing  a partner (which I simply can't bear to imagine) it is a very long and difficult path ... a path I don't think you ever leave but, somehow, learn to tread
Then there is the grief of losing a friend - were Shaz and I best friends? No. Were we good and close friends? I do believe we were - shared many a giggle and she was one of those friends not afraid to laugh or cry with me or give me a good kick up the bum when needed.  Her support was unquestionable and I loved her to bits.  Goes without saying I was truly blessed to have had her in my life and I miss her - as I know lots of us do - very much 
It took me an extraordinarily long time to come to terms (if, indeed, I have) with losing mommy in 2006  - took me pretty much ten years of searching for a resolution to my grief
I wanted to be told that in six months, a year, five years I would be "OK" - or once all the first anniversaries were out of the way I'd be "OK"
"OK" just never happens and you are forever a changed person - a broken, battered and bruised version of yourself but one that, will, in time be able to appear "OK" - but I now know I will never be the other Debbie
Grief - as I said, it sucks
A huge turning point for me was not the endless & unrelenting Googling "How to survive a  loss" (or pick any one of a milion other titles), it was not ringing helplines or messaging bereavement groups
It came whilst watching a favourite TV show (Criminal Minds) where, at the end of each episode one of the characters is heard reading a quote
There I was that evening when I heard the quote below ... it stopped me in my tracks and I FINALLY got it - finally understood this thing called grief, and from here I began to turn the corner and this quote has been my lifeline ever since
"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds'.  I do not agree.
The wounds remain.  In time, the mind, protecting it's sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens.  But it is never gone."
Rose Kennedy 


  1. Oh Debbie, I am crying right now. Grief is hard and that quote is beautiful, but what you put into words describing your own grief is what is causing me to grab for the tissues. You have shown such a remarkable and incredible piece of art and I am sure Doug "got" it. It's truly remarkable. Thank you so much for sharing this and for all that you have done to ease everyone's pain. Happy WOYWW from # 3.

  2. Debbie . . . that it does!
    Just when I think I am 'over it' I am floor bound again. I try to analyse why I am sitting here crying, the crying days seem endless, but I can find no reason. A few weeks ago the realisation that Peter won't be coming home this time hit in and I am never far from the floor.
    I love your words . . . . Thank you for this post, who understands . . . .
    Christine #24

  3. Debbie, that's beautiful, and I would very much like one if you can spare the time, the energy and the love to make more. Something like that takes it's toll, carving a mark in our hearts as we create. I will message you via email or FB, not sure which!

    Also - am a big fan of Criminal Minds and they do have some awesome quotes...

  4. Debbie!! You are amazing to do this for Shaz and Doug! I saw Dougs lovely art work, which you made for him, last night, as I was still trying to call in from last week! (Internet problems!) Is it possble to have one too, I have tried to email you before,(About atc's) but its a bit scarry when it, the email thingy opens up and says:'This will allow Windows to: Read, compose, DELETE(???) all your email from gmail. See, edit and permanently delete your contacts...' it then goes on to add: ' ...delete all calenders that you access using google.' so, like last time I didn't dare click on the allow button! Perhaps its just my dyslexia brain reading it wrong! Anyway! my email is, dragonsmoore at gmail dot com.
    Your work is beautiful! Late again today! Happy WOYWW, stay safe ((Lyn)) #26

  5. That is a truly wonderful quote and perfectly sums up how grief can be. I was told once that it’s like walking along a sea shore and all is well, then suddenly a big wave comes in out of nowhere and sweeps your feet from under you. I think the piece you made for Doug was stunning and so apt, Shaz would have LOVED the story of trying to post it surreptitiously and being caught in the act!! If you have the time, I would very much like one of your pieces to remember Shaz by, it just couldn’t be more perfect. Thank you xxx
    Hugs LLJ 6 xxx

  6. Grief it's such a difficult subject to deal with and those words that time does heal has never been true in my heart. Beautiful post Debbie, your kindness and spirituality shine in abundance. Truly stunning piece of artwork for Doug and the smaller work is just as endeaving. Don't you worry yourself about lost visits, sharing this post is more than enough.
    Take care & creative wishes this WoywW Tracey #13

  7. This is so touching, Debbie - what are you trying to do, make us all cry? Well, you have it, I'm sure all of us are in tears now, but they are tears of love. Here's another quote for you (I can't remember where I heard it, but it stayed with me): grief is just love with nowhere to go. Isn't that true? I would absolutely love to have one of your Shaz mementos, but I wouldn't want you to go to any trouble or expense - can I pay for it? And absolutely no rush - only if/when you feel up to it. Sending you love and hugs, zsuzsa xx #28

  8. HI Debbie, such a wonderful tribute to Shaz. Grief comes out in different ways for different people, and this was obviously your way for Shaz. I'm sure it was an emotional release to make it, and that probably helped a lot in your grief process as well as Doug's. You are truly a good friend to them both. Time heals, but memories live on forever. Lindart #32

  9. Oh Debbie, you are such a beautiful person - not only to make the original piece for Doug which is just perfect - but to offer more to anyone else too. I am sure it resonated so much for Doug because he knows you know what it feels like. If you can stand to make another one, I would love one. Helen #2

  10. Debbie, I think you have made more than one person cry today with your lovely words. I did comment earlier but i think it got lost somewhere.
    Love the atc you made for Doug and the one you have on offer to WOYWW'ers is truly beautiful but I would hate to think of you being out of pocket knowing how much things like that beautiful wolf costs.
    You are a wonderful lady and have a beautiful heart.
    Hugs, Neet 5 xx

  11. Debbie you are such a thoughtful person and the gift for Doug was so kind. Have a very happy and creative woyww, Angela x17x

  12. Hi Debbie, I too get shattered at times with everything going on - it feels like we are carrying all the weight of the world at times. I do hope you are feeling much better now. I would love to be a recipient of one of your magnificent peices of Art - they are just beautiful and a wonderful way to remember a beautiful person. I am unfortunately unable to post this week - having spent all my time out of the house on my daughter's house. But last week I was #12. Stay safe & well you beautiful soul. Cheers Maurs XXX

    1. Sorry Debbie - I would happily pay for the item / postage please let me know Cheers Maurs xxx

    2. I did actually make it on Debbie - #35 - the last in line so they say. Have a fabulous week - chat soon - Maurs xxx

  13. Such a beautiful and fitting tribute to Shaz Debbie. Black glitter is the perfect embellishment and the colours are fantastic. Thank you so much for the offer. Stay safe and happy WOYWW. Sarah #4

  14. Great post, especially love those wolf figures. I didn’t know Shaz but she seems to have left an impact on you all. I am the only one left in my immediate family and you are right the pain never goes away.

  15. Oh goodness, that's me gone again. Sending you much love for the sadness I could feel in your words and also in your terrific gift for Doug. It says Shaz as much as any picture does and that's a great skill. What a wonderful tribute. I hadn't realised you lived so close so you must have felt the loss all the more. I would love one of your amazing creations if you have any so spare but please don't go to any trouble and of course please let me know how to reimburse you. Bye for now, Lisa-Jane #8

  16. It’s funny isn’t it, what resonates and what doesn’t when you’re looking for something. A chap at my father’s funeral drew me a diagram to explain grief and how I would never lose it, get rid of it, grow out of it but learn to live with it, and that it would eventually become a scar rather than a hurting wound. I still cling to that analogy because I find it absolutely characterises my loss. Anyway, as all the others have said and as I knew they would, you are kind and generous and these are fantastic memorials to our friend. And black glitter…most appropriate if you ask me, she’d love it!

  17. Aw Debbie I think you've made us all cry!! A really beautiful gift for Doug, you are so very very thoughtful. I also think it's OK sometimes to just take a time out. It's been a hard year for every one, you have to do what you need to do. Have a good week, love n hugs, Cindy xx #7

  18. What a beautiful post, Debbie. Beautiful words to accompany a beautiful work of art, designed to touch the heart. This will mean more to Doug than words could possibly express - a real treasure indeed.

    I have always said that about scar tissue - lovely to see it confirmed. I say that the scar remains visible and when you look at it, you begin to see it without the agony of the initial wound, as the happy memories gradually flood out the pain. Scars are the reminder of the healing process.

    The scars on my body from my surgeries were once painful wounds and my stoma was initially something horrible that I had to learn how to live with and the learning curve was steep. These days the scars are painless and the stoma (called Kermit!) is part of my daily life - my little life-saving friend - and I look at these things as campaign medals of battles fought and won, and I wear them with pride, and with gratitude to those who inflicted them in order to save my life. It is a cliche to say that "time is a great healer" - I think that time allows us to make the necessary adjustments in order to carry on, but in a different way from before. Life may never be the same again, but it becomes liveable.

    I hardly like to say "happy" belated WOYWW - it doesn't seem appropriate somehow - just sending love!
    Shoshi x #9

  19. Your keepsake tribute is beautiful and it is so kind of you to offer everyone their own. Sending love Angela #12

  20. Thats a lovely keepsake and so beautifully made, I know the words about grief were lovely but cannot read then sorry,

    take care and stay safe

    lilian b #10

  21. oh Debbie! I've popped back again to thank you sooo much. It, in all its splender, has just arrived! The Silver Fox. Thank you so much, but please send me your address! I've just reread your post, I do hope you are in a better place today, on a different level. I know from when my brother in law suddenly passed away my hubby's sister went into a very dark place. But! five years on,she is 'okay' I'm glad to say!